


I Might Still Love You

by MadameStylinsonoftheNoueh



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Letters, M/M, Past Abuse, honesty it's barely mentioned, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 20:41:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameStylinsonoftheNoueh/pseuds/MadameStylinsonoftheNoueh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a mistake. He didn't mean for it to happen. He didn't mean it. Really.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But no matter what the excuse or plea, it wasn't enough to get Louis to stay that night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Might Still Love You

**Author's Note:**

> It's just a slightly modified version of what I posted on Wattpad. I think this one is better.

It was a dark night, like most in the town of Cheshire, England. It was rather quiet, which was the norm in such a small village, but it was soon disrupted by a sad scene.

A young man, no more than 23 years old, strode quickly out of a house whil another young man, his lover, followed him, begging him not to leave. When he reached his car, the elder boy finally addressed the other, though he wouldn't look at him.

"Harry, I just need some space right now," he whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Just give me some time, alright? I need to think us through." The man bit his lip, not wanting to let the sobs escape and show how badly he was broken up over the situation.

"W-will you come back?" the younger man asked. When he got no answer, he asked again, "Lou! Are you coming back?!" His voice broke off on the last word. He wasn't sure if he could live with himself if his lover never returned to him.

The smaller boy bit back another sob. "I-I don't know," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut to hold back the rush of tears.

"I love you."

The whispered words tore the older boy to pieces. He knew if he stayed much longer, the other boy would gain the upper hand and manage to get him to stay just like all the other times before. He couldn't let that happen, so without another word, he hopped into his car and drove off, leaving his once lover in his wake.

\--

_Dear Boobear,_

_It's been three years since I last saw you. Since you left me here. I guess I shouldn't really put it that way, since I'm the one who caused you to leave. I was so stupid back then, I can't believe that I didn't see how I was hurting you until it was too late.  
_

_Anyways, three years... that's a long time. Has anything good happened to you? Did you get that teaching job that you always dreamed of? Have you met anyone else? I often imagine that someday I will run into you in a store or on the street, and you will have met someone better for you than me. You will be married, with a couple of adopted kids, knowing you. You will be happy, and I imagine myself being happy for you.  
_

_But that's the problem, Boo. That's when I wake up and realize that even if you found someone else that could make you happy, I could never truly be happy. You were the only one that made me happy, and that will never change.  
_

_I know you are still getting my letters, my mum still talks with yours and she said I have the right address. Do you read these? Maybe you just throw them out as soon as you see my name. I don't know if you will see this or now, but, I still love you, Lou. I always will.  
_

_The lads miss you too. Liam and Niall recently got engaged. They said that they sent you an invitation to the wedding, do you plan on going? I'll stay away from you, if that's what you're worried about. I'd hate for you to miss your best friend's wedding because of me.  
_

_Liam got that deal at the radio station, just like you always told him he would, a couple of weeks ago. He was so excited, you should have seen his face; I thought he was going to pass our. Niall is still working at the pub, but we both know he's always been happy there.  
_

_Zayn's found someone as well. Her name's Perrie, and I think this just might be the one. She's so perfect for him, and they get along amazingly. He's finished Uni now, and has a teaching job at the school up the road. The one you two always joked about teaching together at.  
_

_Gemma just announced a few days ago that her and Brian are expecting their first baby in July. Mum's so excited for her first grandchild, already buying things for the baby and knitting up blankets and other such things. Your mum and sisters have been invited to the shower.  
_

_That's all the news I can think of, Boo. We all love and miss you.  
_

_Love,  
_

_your Hazza  
_

_\--  
_

Harry just about collapses when he actually gets a response for the first time in three years.

 

_Haz,_

_I guess you'll always be my Hazza, huh? It's strange to think that you have always been Haz to me, ever since we were little.  
_

_Three years is a long time, I agree. Lots of things have happened in Cheshire since I've gone. I miss it a bit, the small town life. Wolverhampton's just not the same. I miss you all as well, but I'm not sure I can ever bring myself to come back.  
_

_Please give Gemma my congratulations.  
_

_And no, I haven't met anyone.  
_

_Give my family my love,  
_

_Louis  
_

_\--  
_

_Dear Boobear,  
_

_Yes, I'll always be your Hazza and you'll always be my Boobear. The universe insists on it.  
_

_I'm so glad that you decided to reply to my last letter, but I couldn't help but notice that you didn't include anything about yourself. Is everything alright? I'm sorry if I'm prying too much, but I still care about you and hope you are okay.  
_

_What is Wolverhampton like? Is there a school you can teach at there? I hope there is. I know how badly you wanted to be able to teach.  
_

_I understand that you don't want to come back. But if you ever do, we will be waiting with open arms.  
_

_Is it awful to say that I'm glad you haven't met anyone? Because I am.  
_

_I love you,  
_

_your Hazza  
_

_\--  
_

_  
_This time when Harry discovers a reply from Louis, he doesn't spill coffee all over himself. He considers that an accomplishment.

 

_Haz,_

_It's nice to know you care, but just stop. I'm perfectly fine, don't worry your curly little head over me.  
_

_Wolverhampton is about as boring as it's name. It is bigger and busier than Cheshire, and yes, it does have a school that I am currently teaching at. The students there are rather nice, and the other teachers aren't that bad. No one interesting, though. It's really a shame.  
_

_It really is a terrible thing to say Harold, but since when have you ever let that stop you?  
_

_I might still love you,  
_

_Louis  
_

_  
_The signature makes Harry choke on his spit. Once he's recovered, he pulls out his stationery and composes a response.

 

_Dear Boobear,_

_I'm going to make this short, because I just had to respond right away.  
_

_We both know that I can't stop worrying about you. I can tell when you're not happy, and you're not.  
_

_You haven't mentioned it yet, but I know you're thinking about it... I did get therapy, just like I said I would. I've changed Boobear, I promise. If that's what's keeping you from coming home, now you know.  
_

_I really do love you,  
_

_your Hazza  
_

_\--  
_

The reply is nothing more than a crumpled up scrap of paper with a short message scrawled upon it.

 

_Haz,_

_Please. Just stop. I can't do this. Don't make me do this.  
_

_I might still love you,  
_

_Louis  
_

_  
_The tear stains scattered on the paper broke Harry's heart in two.

\--

_Baby,_

_I'm not gonna make you do anything. I'm not gonna say anything but this:  
_

_I'm so sorry for what happened that night. I'm sorry that I hit you. I'm sorry that I did it more than just that night. I'm sorry for all the pain I have cause you..  
_

_I don't expect a reply back from you, and I really don't need one. I know you hate me, and I hate myself too.  
_

_Forgiveness is too much to ask,  
_

_Harry  
_

_\--  
_

_  
_The weeks passed by, then a month, two. No reply back. Until, at the end of the second month, this arrived in the mail:

 

_My dearest Hazza,_

_I forgive you. It's taken me all these months to realize it, but I forgive you.  
_

_I've been miserable all this time without you. I was diagnosed with depression two years ago. I knew why, but I couldn't admit it to myself. Until now.  
_

_Harry, you are the only person in the world I need. I don't need. I don't need this stupid teaching job, I don't need Wolverhampton. I need you to make me happy.  
_

_I realize that you hate yourself, but you shouldn't. You know why?  
_

_I really do still love you,  
_

_your loving Boobear  
_

_  
_Harry had to sit down after the first sentence. He couldn't handly the overwhelming love he felt from the words of his once lover. When he finished, he put the letter down and wiped his eyes.

The doorbell rang. He rose and answered it.

"Boobear?!"


End file.
